Bringing It Back to Life

 So I apologize to my family and friends that have always enjoyed following my blog with the photos that I take. I have not updated this thing in over 3 years. I have been going through a lot mentally, spiritually and emotionally and though I had taken photos, they stayed on the memory card inside my camera. I now have a new computer and Kris and a close friend, as well as Gram have all encouraged me to get back to it. I did take new photos of the kids last week and I am in love with them. I'm not sure how much of the many older photos I will post but I will post my favorites of the old ones (2020-2021). I will do the whole session I just did with the kids though. I am hoping to get back into the swing of it and take my camera with me more and more. Instead of letting it collect dust on my book shelf. 

Also in doing all this I am hoping to get new photos to hang on my walls at home and to get photos to my friends and family of things they will love. 

I have to remember that this hobby is something that I know brings me joy! I also know that seeing what I create brings joy to my friends and family. So have some patience and I will bring my joy back to y'all as well! 

Love you all,

Kirsty

A Little Personal...

So this post will be a little bit personal.

In early April of this year I discovered I was pregnant with baby #4. Kris and I were overjoyed. We were gonna wait to tell, but Kris just couldn't, the Sunday after we found out, we told his parents. I had overly exaggerated symptoms. So I did feel something was wrong but I had to wait to get covered by insurance. One day in Mid-May I passed a large clot and started bleeding. I broke down screaming. I called Deedee and asked her to take me to the ER. Kris met us there and she went home so she didn't have to sit and wait. They did bloodtests and an ultrasound and I discovered at 9w5d I had miscarried my beautiful baby and he/she went to meet our Heavenly Father.

I took it so hard and hated myself and my body. But unlike what I've read online and seen of other women, I was able to accept it within a couple weeks. I had plenty of support and love to help me through. I still have a lot of hang ups about it and still sometimes cry about it, but am at peace with it and know that God has it all in His glorious hands.

At the beginning of July, our Grow Pastor, Brian Gilmore, did his sermons on Romans 8. The Monday after the first week, I REALLY read the Bible. I did it for me, not for a plan, or because someone said "hey read this". After I read (first one I read was I Samuel 1) and I just broke down and fell to my knees and really truly prayed to God as if He were right there holding my hands. I have grown so much closer to Him in these short weeks, but in the process, Satan has attacked so much harder, than he ever has.

This morning I told Kris that I felt like I was climbing a cliff and every time I got to the top, it seems I was thrown back down just to have to climb back up. He smiled and simply said "stop climbing and let Him carry you".

It lifted so much off of me in that small instant.

God is so good!

Matthew 6: 26 has been the verse I've carried with me these past couple of weeks and it helps to just repeat it when I feel like I'm drowning.

And then I count my blessings!

The Power of Three...

So ya'll the different sayings:
   "...everything happens in threes..."
   "...I can find anything with three phone calls..."
   "...knock three times..."
And so many more. Well I have three wonder and beautiful children. They are have their own (albeit sometimes annoying) wonderful personalities. Taylor is the loving, drama queen, James the destructive, sweet heart and Becca the quiet, snuggler.  They all know what they want and the all love to be the center of attention. There are times where I want to run away, but there is no way in Heaven or on Earth that I would ever truly leave them. They are my world. I have been blessed, by the grace of God. He gave me the most wonderful of husband and greatest of children.

Today has been one of those days where I've wanted to give up. They were all taking turns screaming for one thing or another and I was at my wits end. So I texted Mom and told her how I felt and she said if she can do it, so can I. I took a deep breathe and gave them all hugs and kisses and knew it was going to be just fine.

I am gonna try and keep updating this blog (photo of the day will continue daily) but these next two weeks are gonna be crazy as we are helping mom and dad move this weekend. Most likely next weekend we are moving into our new place and then soon after we are moving Ryan and Cassie. I want to do photos of all three moves. So maybe they will all be documented. We'll see. I do know I will be taking photos of my new place before we move in so ya'll can see it. I love this place so much. Four bedrooms and two and baths. Oh goodness. The size of this place is awesome.

Now on to my "THREE"...

The Sweetest Boy...

I am biased in saying that there are two little boys in my life that are just the sweetest things. My little man James and my wonderful nephew Buddy. But regardless of my bias they are both the sweetest, as everyone always lets our family know. :)

With all this said, this past week, we have been given some devastating news. Buddy was diagnosed with Retinoblastoma, a cancerous tumor in his eye.

Cassie and Ryan (mom and dad) noticed a grey spot going on it his eye, so an appt was made. They got the news of a tumor and an appt for testing to see what exactly it was. They were there most of the day, as they also tested his sisters. (Thank God they are fine). They were given a choice, that I would not wish on any parent, to either remove his eye or endure chemo, usually a two year endeavor. They have an MRI scheduled to make sure it has not spread from his eye. He'll also be admitted this next week with either decision.

We pray not only for his healing and strength. But for strength and love for Cassie and Ryan. It is hitting us all really hard, but we will never know the way that they are feeling. They have some hard decisions to make in the next weeks. Pray God is with them in this.

They have a lot family and friends around them to help them with any and every need.

Love this little man.

My Testimony...

Romans 10: 13

"...For whoever will call on the name of the LORD will be saved..."

When I was little, I really did not enjoy going to church. I would protest as a young child. So you probably wouldn't have believed I would come to love God as I do now. Here is me testimony for all those that would love to know. I did NOT believe in Jesus Christ or God.

When I was 12 years old, one morning while we were driving to the school to pick up the bus my mom drive for the christian school I was going to at the time, we were in a horrific car accident. My mom was forced off the road but a plow truck and hit black ice, causing us to flip in the air 3 times and 3 times on the ground. The only thing I really remember about the whole thing is right before it happened I was playing with a yellow bouncy ball. While I was out, I was in the blinding white room. It was so bright there and then I heard the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard in my life. I couldn't tell you if it was male or female, but it was oh so beautiful. Then a figure showed up in front of me. I could not see the face but it spoke to me saying "It's not your time, you need to wake up and get everyone out of the van" and all of a sudden I woke up. I was in the far back seat on my little sister and my mom on top of me. My cousin Crystal was still in the front passenger seat. I was able to wake everyone up. I had to kick open the front drivers door, as the rest were crushed so bad there was no getting out. At the hospital, we learned that the plow was NOT supposed to be on that road at that time and the driver would not be there for much longer. 

The damage was: My mom had a horribly bruised ankle, from breaking the gear shifter with her ankle and a slight concussion. My little sister had tons of scrapes and bruises, as she somehow wrapped her legs around the seat legs at the last second. My cousin had super bad whiplash. I had a giant hole in my head full of glass. I was running on adrenaline that I didn't know I was hurt or bleeding.

My uncle came and assessed the situation. He determined that I didn't have my seat belt on (the only time in my entire life) and if I had my mom would have broken my neck when she was thrown into the back. 

After that day, I started to go to church and started to learn more about God. I then realized it was God that kept me from wearing my seat belt as before and after that, there has never been a time I was not wearing one. 

However I was never told you had to ask Jesus into my heart to ensure my eternal life. I thought it was a thing that as long as you are good you are safe from Heaven. Then I met my wonderful husband and his family. They were a family of born again Christians and I wanted to have that in my life. So on August 22nd 2006, with Kris right beside me, I prayed for forgiveness and asked Jesus into my heart. The following weekend I was baptized.

The thing was, I didn't change much after that. I was still rather rebellious. I ran away from my problems and it just got worse for us. Then when we finally hit rock bottom, we moved in with Kris' parents, November 2008. We were still rebelling really bad. One fateful day when we were gonna move out and go back to our ways, I had a different feeling and took a pregnancy test and when I got a positive (had tried for over 5 years) my heart, mind and soul all changed at once and I knew what God wanted me to stop doing. 

I know I'm not perfect and mess up quite a bit and rather often, but I know by the grace of God, I am saved and I will have eternal life in Heaven with my loving Savior.

Week 4 of 52: Self -Portrait

So this weeks theme is kinda a hard one and rather personal one as I have poor image of myself. However this next I will be getting my butt of the couch and exercising with Kris. I will be posting a blog post about this Sunday night.

Lovin' On Daddy...

The name says it all. All three of my kids love their Daddy so much. When he comes home from school/work, they come running.

Well tonight I caught a beautiful shot of Becca and Daddy. Hoping to capture more of all three soon.

Lately...

Well I (with help from Kris) have admitted my horrible addiction to the computer. I am on way to much and have ignored important parts of my life and lost precious time with my family because of it. I have put the computer down for most of the day lately. I am slowly depleting the amount time I spend on the computer. I have implemented a new schedule which isn't super strict but is slowly working.

On another note, I do believe my kids attitudes have something to do with my "addiction". Kris and I are in a bind with Taylor, some days she is awesome and is great to be around, then we have the most horrible of days. Last night she was just sooo super bad, worst she has ever been. It is hard to deal with sometimes. We are trying to get into her head to try and help but so far we have not succeeded. James we are still trying to get him to talk as he doesn't use words to communicate. We have learned his signs (he uses his own sign language) and his different grunts. He does say some things that we understand and he says everyone's name. He also is very emotional. We are trying to get through to him he doesn't need to cry for every thing that happens.

I have the want but not the drive to take photos. I want to record my kids lives but lack to motivation to pick up my camera. I wish I had a photo buddy to do a 52 week project and we can keep each other accountable and motivated to get it done.

Oh well here a few of my babies.

Precious...

I just love my babies. They are the biggest blessing in my life. I have discovered they grow WAY TOO FAST. Taylor will be starting school in August. The big K, seriously where is the time going. I need to stop blinking, I mean seriously. James will be 2 in just six weeks. WOW! He is a bruiser, he can pack a punch and kicks like crazy. Becca is over a month now. She is growing awesomely and she is soooo loved. James gives her kisses ALL the time. Taylor helps me by getting stuff for her and doing little chores.

Wow It's Been a While...

So I have not been active on here for a long time. I have been rather busy with Thanksgiving, Christmas, Abby's birth and the birth of my angel Becca as she came into this world a little early.

Christmas was truly a blessing this year as God did as he always does and blessed my wonderful children with more than they could've dreamed. I cried at the blessings that came. We had a wonderful time at mom and dad's house. Emma and Buddy were sooo worn out they slept through all the gift opening. :) James wanted to help everyone out with theirs. And I got some wonderful needed/wanted kitchen items/appliances.

Then along came January, on the first day I went into false labor at 33 weeks. I was in L&D observation for 5 hours, before being sent home. I really didn't want to be there but my family is a little cautious, so we went in.

Ryan and Cassie moved up here from Houston, so Ryan could go to school and they could be closer to family. I was so happy that they made this decision. :) I love having Cassie up here. Though we don't see each other everyday, we see each other at least once a week and we try to talk more often than that. Well the day that they were moving their stuff into their new apartment, she started early labor and was in the bath while everyone else unloaded the truck. When they were about 85% done, she said it was time to go and at 1:47pm she gave birth to my beautiful niece Abby.

PHOTO CREDIT: CASSIE KINGSBURY

That next week was crazy. So much was going on and I was getting ready as my due date was just around the corner. Kris and I helped her out in the unpacking of the house and I rather enjoyed that beautiful baby girl. I was having lots of false alarm contractions and pains for weeks and everything. GRRR. I do thoroughly hate the end of pregnancy. 

Well two weeks after that beautiful little girl was born this happened (birth story):

The whole week I had been feeling like crud. I had lots of hip pains, back pain, cramping, etc. I was getting upset about nothing all the time and complained A LOT. Mainly cuz i wanted to be let alone by Rebecca. So Saturday, January 18th came along, I woke up around 6am and had the awesomely huge burst of energy. So I decided it would be great to clean. I deep cleaned the living room as it was annoying me. I had started on the bathroom, when mom and dad brought the kids home. I told them I was feeling awesome. No pain, no complaints, nothing. I was feeling great and was on sort of a high. I had to run to the store to get diapers for James. So James and I ran to walmart. I figured when I get home I would do the kitchen. When I did arrive home I had a painful cramping feeling. Then the contractions started and they were 6-8 minutes apart. I had started to move around to try and take care of them. So after about 3 hours of contractions coming 7 minutes apart I texted mom and told her what was going on. I then called the midwife. She suggested I drink a lot of water and take a hot bath. So I did both. The shower/bath I took only made them stronger and longer. So after another hour I called the midwife back and she said that it could be labor and if I felt I needed to come in to do so for peace of mind. I decided I would eat something, get a few things ready and call mom. She sent Missy over to watch the kids and we headed to L&D. When we got here I had done so much walking that the contractions were now at 5 minutes apart. When I got to L&D they started coming two minutes apart. They checked me and I was at 2cm, soft and she was head down. The contractions were hurting so much and I felt like my water had broken, but it was all blood. They said they would check me in an hour to see if there was any change. At the 45 minute mark they checked again and I was at 3cm and she was traverse (sideways) and her hand was presenting (dr. felt her little fingers). He said that I was definitely in labor and moving along rather quickly but they cannot deliver a traverse baby naturally. So he gave two options. One was he could try an external version or we can do a c-section. I asked him what the chances were that the version would work and he said about 5% maybe 10% but it would be rather hard as the contractions being 2 minutes apart would make it hard for him to get a good grip on her to get her to move, so the best option was a c-section and he wanted it done soon as he didn't want my water to break. I looked at Kris and we both knew it was the only option. So we all prepped. While they got the OR ready, Kris, Dad, Mom and I all prayed for the surgery and for me and Rebecca. I was taken back and the 20 minutes being separated from Kris was the longest 20 minutes of my life. 

I don't remember much of anything else, other than what I was told. I was told the surgery went fairly well, but they had to cut into the placenta to get to her and the uterus tore more than it should have but they found the bleed and were able to close it and close me up. I had been given demoral for the pain i may feel coming to from the spinal. I fell asleep half way through while Kris was holding Rebecca and apparently threw up twice while out. They brought me recovery and told me that Rebecca had been sent to the NICU. She wasn't breathing right so they needed to give her a little help. They gave her some meds to completely open up her lungs. It worked great and she had a rather short stay in the NICU, which I am so grateful for. 

I know for a fact that it is all apart of God's plan and He had everything under control. 

Her stats:

Weight: 6lbs even

Height: 17.75in

Time: 8:20

Day: Saturday January 18th 2014

Gestation: 36 weeks and 1 day
Her due date: February 14th 2014

She is now 3 weeks old and growing so fast. She was only in the NICU for one week. She is super loved by her siblings. They cherish her so much. They are both so helpful with her and come when she cries to make sure she is fine. She doesn't flinch at all when they give her tons of loves. I couldn't ask for more loving kids than these. I am truly blessed. 

So the past two months have been super busy and it's just now starting to calm down again. The kids are doing great and this week Taylor (and possibly James) will be starting AWANAS at church. I know she is going to thoroughly enjoy that. 

My Belly...

For those of you that already know, I'm growing baby number three. She is a beautifully healthy baby girl. I just saw her via ultrasound yesterday with my wonderful mother in law. I love when she is able to go to my appointments and/or ultrasounds. She got to see how extremely mellow Rebecca is. Though the ultrasound tech tried to get her to move several times, she just wouldn't budge. She has a rather great schedule, she sleeps at night when I do and she is awake between about 10amish and goes back to sleep around 8pmish. So I'm hoping she stays like this, just as her siblings were.
Tomorrow November 8th, 2013 I will be 26 weeks pregnant. 14 weeks to go. It is going by so super fast. I think that having two under 5 and being the holiday season, it's all combined to make for a fast pregnancy. I am grateful that I have not had really ANY signs of SPD this time around. It was so painful and unbearable, I don't know if I'd be able to bear it again. Though I have had some bad sciatic nerve pain, but I would definitely take that over SPD.

"The network of nerves in your baby's ears are better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. Also he's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about 1 2/3 pounds and measures 14 inches (about the size of a scallion) from head to heel."
- Sited from Babycenter.com

My Son...

So you have learned about my princess. Here is the story of my son. From the time I found out I was pregnant with him, he was a handful. He was a big mover and shaker in utero. He gave me a bad case of SPD (syphonis pubis dysfunction) which hurt so bad and made the last 6 weeks unbearable, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. He came into this world rather quickly. Labor lasted 1 hour and 1/2. He lifted his head to see grandma that first day. He has been super busy ever since. He is so smart and catches on super quickly. He loves to play with his sister and do everything she does. He is one of the funniest kids you will ever meet and just as lovable. He is my little prince!

My Daughter...

Taylor is my first and I love her soo much and everyday her personality just grows. Yes there are times I want to run away. But I would not give her up for the world. She is my husband's parents first grandbaby and his grandparents first great grandbaby. She is the oldest of 7 at the moment (soon she will be the oldest of 9). She loves her baby brother so much and though she constantly picks on him, she also protects him at parks and playgrounds. She is highly intelligent and can figure out just about any situation she is put into. She starting talking at 4 months, learned her advanced shapes before the basic ones. Her favorite color is purple and her favorite thing to do is go to grandpa's house. She has two stuffed bears that she loves named "Charlie" and "Lola". She doesn't like candy but pretends to. My gosh she is just the best little girl in the world. Though I may be biased.

Here she is with her Grandpa!!!!

Goals, What are Those?...

So my husband is a better business planner than I am and actually a better planner than me in anything. I love that man as he keeps me grounded and focused, though my mind wonders too much. He has told me that a good rule of thumb when it comes to business planning is making goals and sticking to them.

So I have come up with a few for my photography, both personal and professional.

First the Professional part:

1. Have at least 2 clients a month for the first six months. After that I reevaluate.
2. Advertise as much as I can, where I can.
3. Network
4. Continue to learn
5. Make friends with other photogs in the area.

Second the Personal side:

1. Start and finish a 30 day challenge.
2. Shoot something everyday, no matter what it is or what the weather is like.
3. Keep a "photo journal" of the kids.
4. Take more photo walks.
5. Start a photo group. 

So now I need help be accountable. I'm really hoping that I can keep this all going. I have a wonderful new photog friend who I'm helping get her on the right track and hopefully we can go places together and learn and grow.
So for now these are my goals and I'm gonna go and start them and pray that I keep myself accountable. God is watching over me and He gave me this talent, now I just need to get back on my feet and put it out there.

Where's the Restart Button...

Well for a while now I have been fighting my drive of doing photography. I even stopped taking photos of my babies. I had lost all motivation. I then had an extremely long talk with my husband about this whole situation, because he saw what was going on. Finally he had to say something. He asked what was going on as he had never in our 10 years of marriage not seen me without a camera for more than a couple days. He knows me all too well :). So after the talk we realized that some of it may be that I am fighting with God on His will for me. He gave a wonderful gift that brings joy to people and myself. I love photography, I love capturing the world around me and I love capturing the memories we all make everyday. I have love this since I was a little girl and constantly asking my mom to buy new cartridges of film for my camera. I took pictures of EVERYTHING. Well I reevaluated everything and have put my price list back together. I have my contracts, model releases and price releases made up. I have "hired" my husband as my business manager. Got all the tax forms and business part taken care of. Now I'm ready to get back into it again and now that I'm settled here in Fort Worth, I'm ready for you to contact me with your inquiries. Can't wait to hear from ya'll and help capture the memories you will cherish for a lifetime.

"Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the Gospel." - Philippians 1:27

Merry-Go-Round...

Today we went to the park and had a great time! The kids had a ball. I love seeing them run around like goofballs. They loved the swings, slides and merry-go-round. James fell off the merry-go-round, but was absolutely fine. He got up and got back on.

22 Weeks...

I'm doing fine in my whole pregnancy. I am growing as I should, I have another appointment on Monday. I have only gained 3 lbs. so far. I had a rough first half of pregnancy. I think I'm doing pretty good at the moment. I have less than 18 weeks to go. I can't wait to meet this beautiful baby girl.

"At 11 inches and almost 1 pound (about the size of a spaghetti squash), your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. 

If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily."

-From www.Babycenter.com 

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My Little Sick Man...

I love my little man, but man I hate it when my babies are sick. Usually my kids aren't sick longer than about six hours, but James has been sick for over 24 hours now. He is super clingy and doesn't want me to leave his side. I was finally able to get him to lay down in his bed for a nap. I got a few cute photos of my sick man. He is so cute but so sad.